As I walked Erza, my dog, this afternoon, I set out with the intention to explore my thoughts. But, as usual, I found myself drained by the effort. I tried to sort through them, but the persistent pain in my upper right hip made it difficult to focus.
My thoughts zeroed in on the pain—not just this current one, but all the pains I’ve felt before. Frustrated, I asked myself, “Again? What is it this time?” Just two days ago, it was my shoulder, two weeks ago, it was my neck and my head, and now it’s my hip. I’ve tried to pin the blame on different things: physical imbalance—maybe my right side is overworking, hormonal imbalance—it could be menopause, after all, I’m turning 45 soon, and that’s normal, right? I even considered mental imbalance—perhaps I’m overthinking things. I’ve blamed it on spiritual imbalance, the gummies I take, and anything else I can think of. But despite all this, I’m still trying to figure out the root cause of this pain, and it’s left me utterly exhausted. I’m so tired of constantly feeling pain.
Two days ago, I had a session with PJ, someone I’ve recently connected with on a spiritual level. I could say so much about how wonderful PJ is, but today, I want to share something he said about pain. He told me, “We’ve made pain into a label.” I can’t fully grasp what that means yet, but I know that he understands pain—something I’m all too familiar with.
After that session, I stood up from the yoga mat in tears. “I don’t know what burden I’m carrying in my life, PJ, that I have to endure this suffering,” I said, feeling like I was surrendering everything. But PJ suggested that maybe it’s time to reframe the words I use. Instead of saying I’m “surrendering,” I could say I’m “yielding.” That one word was powerful enough to shift my perspective. “Surrender” implies resisting something, but “yielding” feels more like a humble acceptance. While the two words are similar, PJ pointed out that this subtle shift in language offers an opportunity to change our mindset. For me, yielding feels like removing the label of pain. I’m acknowledging the pain, but I’m not letting it define my life.
It’s deep—and yes, exhausting. But by the end of my walk this afternoon, I felt a sense of reassurance that things will eventually improve in relation to this pain. And I believe I’ll find the answers to all questions that is overwhelming me. But more importantly, I will find the flow and I will learn to trust the process. This is a journey, and now is the time for me to YIELD to the power of TIME.
PJ whatsapped me one time. He said, "Don't feel rushed, TIME IS IN OUR HANDS" and only at this moment that this made so much sense to me.
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